Self-control is essential for a healthy life. It benefits us emotionally, mentally, and physically. I found that the lack of self-control breeds a life that is often chaotic; an unstable life. This is a challenging thing for some of us and for some, it is not an issue. But whether it’s a serious or occasional challenge, it affects us all at some point of our lives.
You’re at that moment and everything suddenly slows. Your inner world is on a fast track of its own and everything that mattered doesn’t really matter anymore. You’re about to bruise hearts, harden yours, and lose sight of the foundation and character that has been instilled in you. But this isn’t new to you; you’re used to building resentment in your heart. It has become easy for you to make your heart un-accessible to others. You have grown too comfortable with losing it all over nothing.
But it is time and long overdue for you to learn how to handle your disagreements with self-control.
Finding the balance.
Over the years I’ve learned a lot about myself. I’ve learned that when something small bothers me I just hold it in, because I feared losing a connection with someone over something so small. I also learned that the small things that really bother us eat away at us overtime. “It’s the little foxes that spoil the vines.”
I had to learn the hard way that confrontations don’t always end badly. With your heart in the right place, your mind focused, and your body planted for a resolution—it can be a beautiful thing called communication. Finding the balance between becoming aggressive and communicating can be a difficult thing for the people who are accustomed to having to defend themselves. You are not a stranger to feeling attacked but not everyone wants to hurt you. And you just never thought about it like that. You rather hurt someone emotionally, mentally, or physically before they can touch you in anyone of those places.
You will always remember what that felt like and you never, never want to feel it again. And I don’t blame you, but are you happy with living life on the edge of your seat?
I am not happy with living life on the edge of my seat. I want to be comfortable, at ease, and in control of my life. I want to be ready to face the world with character. I want to remember my character; I need to remember…I have to remember my character to live a whole life; to breathe, to see, to live in peace.
But oh how quickly we forget. And we just lose ourselves. And find ourselves in an unhappy life full of chaos.
Maintain control of yourself and you will be able to stand in life.
Yes, there will be times when you will have to show some aggression, but I’m here to tell you, most of the time that’s not the case. We make it the case. “I’m going to live and not die.” Something one of grandmothers say often. And I always found it funny. And we should laugh at life. But once I got older, I realized not only was it funny, but it was real. “I’m going to live and not die.” There are just some things you have to brush off your shoulders to be healthy; to stay whole. And the things you need to communicate should be done with control. Yes, you can be assertive without aggression. And many of us just don’t think about it that way.
Control yourself. Don’t let the challenges of life control you.
Practice controlling yourself. Practice becomes habit. Habit becomes comfort. And becoming comfortable with controlling yourself, empowers you.