The Courage to be a “GOOD BIG SISTER”-My Mini Series Part 1

Posted on March 16, 2011

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The Courage to be a “GOOD BIG SISTER”-My Mini Series Part 1

You may not have thought about it this way—but you have the power to change a generation of people. And I say that in complete confidence. I say that with a straight back and high head with a beautiful dream in my eyes. If every big sister knew the power they had-the world would be a better place. You are so much more than the muscle to pour a drink, a master shoe string tyer, a big book of answers, or a protector from the outside world: you are the whisper of motivation, you are the instiller of self-esteem, you are the promoter of high confidence, and you are the wind beneath their wings. And it still amazes me how you’re all that and “so much more”.

But I’m telling you this because I didn’t always recognize the influence I could have. But my parents raised a good-hearted person and led us all to the love of God. And even then-it’s not easy. But whether or not you see it as a blessing or burden or just plain annoyance-is definitely how you make it easier or harder on yourself and how you can make it a positive experience for your younger siblings as well as yourself. You didn’t ask to be a big sister- you may not even think you’re cut out for it but God placed you here: so you’re ready and just right for the job. It’s time to take out a pen and paper or just a quick absorption of my thoughts and let me tell you how you can change the character of humanity forever.

You were born into leadership.

You are already a leader, now what are you going to do with it? You can encourage or belittle. You can teach or not. You can let them run with you or leave them behind. I can imagine that if you came this far you are willing to let them run beside you. You are willing to show them how you run bold, how you progress your technique-well you’re basically going to show them how you win. You are going to show them how you get ahead with practice, confidence, optimism (a positive attitude), and learning. Let them follow the best you but teach them to be their own best. If no one else on this planet knows their strengths and weaknesses-you do! And I know how tempting it is to use this for little sneaky revenges but let’s focus here-

It’s bigger than that-time to change the world girl.

Lead by example. “Be the change you want to see in the world.” A quote I love by Mahatma Gandhi. If your heart melts at the site of hungry people-you can teach the future leaders (your younger siblings) the importance of giving. You can teach them and show them that a heart of giving also invites more abundance into their own lives. So whatever change you want to really see in this world-be that! And what you want will begin to manifest and inspire others.

“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” This quote was meant to toughen your skin but not your heart. And as much as people have tried to instill this into us-it’s just not deep enough. Words can and do hurt. But it’s what you do when they hurt that matters most. And the quote above wants us to brush it off and you can do that but if something was said that really hurts: let me tell you how to confront it, heal it, and then brush it off. And then tell your younger siblings how big sister stays so strong. And remember that as words can hurt you: they can hurt others as well.

Not everybody has the courage to encourage others through their difficult days.  

Bill Cosby said something that I can never forget, “Hurt people, hurt people”. Digest that-it’s real. This doesn’t mean that all hurt people, hurt other people. It means that people who hurt others are usually hurt themselves. So when someone says something to bring you down-know that someone or something has brought them down. And because you know that; you can make a conscious decision to end the cycle. And if it hurts, why does it hurt? Do I actually believe it? Or sometimes it’s the person who said it that makes it hurt the most. And there are many reasons why words can hurt but it’s up to you to think about why it hurts. And once you do that you are a step closer to brushing it off and moving on with another experience you have overcome. An experience to share with your younger siblings.

So you know how to confront it. But why does it bother you so much? If you have a big head-then you have a big head. And they’re probably bothering you because they have a big nose or something else bothers them that no one even knows about. Something may be bothering them that their not ready to face themselves. You know why it bothers you. Now what are you going to do about it? There are three things you can do: knock it out, embrace it, or change it. Embrace having a big head. Knock out a lot of useless things. And change what you want to change for yourself. Not because of someone else but because you want to change it. If you want to be a faster runner-do what it takes to be just that.

 It’s not easy to put a bandage on a wound that you never found.

So, confront it and if it’s important for you to embrace or change it and weak enough to just knock it out-go ahead and get it done. And now it’s time to heal and move on. And you can’t heal unless you confront something. And once you do that healing begins to take its course. And healing takes time. How do I heal? Knocking it out; embracing it; changing it and time. Some things heal quickly and some things take longer. It depends on what it is and how you handle it. But know that nothing is too much for you to overcome and God is always there for you. Now you know how to handle the sticks and stones and you also know how important it is to be positive even if you’re not having the best day.

Leaders have to learn and teach at the same time

You’re a big sister for a reason. And yes it takes responsibility. And since we all should be leaders in some way-we all have to embrace the importance of learning as we teach. And you are blessed enough to be already mastering this life lesson.

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Posted in: Inspiration